6 Questions to Ask About BDSM Collar
Many would assume that collaring simply refers to having a BDSM sub wear a collar. Some beginners in the lifestyle do use the term for this but it means something much more to most people in the BDSM world. Collaring is an act but it is also a symbol. Let's take a look at collaring and dispel some of the rumors.
The Meaning of BDSM Collaring
The process of collaring a submissive means that the dominant is claiming them as their own. During the process someone from the outside simply sees an action occurring. What is actually happening is a meaningful exchange of power and symbolism. One that means just as much for the sub as the Dominant.
You may hear a collar for BDSM referred to as a BDSM collar, a bondage collar, a slave collar, or a similar term. The term that someone chooses to refer depends on their experience in the BDSM world and why they are using the collar. For example, if someone considers their submissive a slave, they might be more likely to use the term slave collar.
What Does It Mean For A Dominant?
A Dominant is claiming a sub as their own when they use a collar. The collar represents ownership but it also represents responsibility. Upon placing the collar on the sub, the Dominant is showing a promise to protect them, pleasure them, trust them, respect them, and more. It is a physical representation of the relationship and the Dominant's commitment to the relationship.
What Does It Mean For A submissive?
When a submissive allows someone to collar them it is no small act. The collar is a sign of swearing to obey one's Dominant (owner) and more importantly, that you agree to do so under your own free will. Freely choosing to let someone control you is one of the most serious signs of submission. That collar also symbolizes the amount of trust a sub puts in their Dom.
Do All Subs Wear A Collar?
It is fair to wonder if all submissives wear a collar. Many depictions of a submissive feature collars after all. The answer is no. A collar is like many things in the BDSM world, dependent on the specific relationship. A sub may also choose to wear a collar in one relationship but not another.
What Kind Of Collar is Used?
A collar can be anything. It is a physical representation of the relationship. As such, some people wear a traditional pet collar while others use collars specifically designed for D/s relationships. Other relationships may use a traditional woman's choker or even a string of lace. The physical item isn't as important as what it represents to the relationship.
In recent years more relationships have moved away from traditional BDSM collars made out of leather or PVC in favor of other options. Some internet vendors create BDSM collars that are custom made and works of art. Chainmail style collars are a great example of this.
When Is A Collar Worn?
Like we have said with most of the answers, it depends a lot on the relationship. Some submissives will want to wear their collar at all times while others will only wear it during the times, they are acting out BDSM. A variety of factors come into play when a submissive decides when they want to wear their collar, including how comfortable they are with public displays, whether it fits their normal attire, what kind of collar they wear, etc.
When a collar is worn is also not always a constant thing. Some people change when they wear their collar as their relationship develops.
Are All Collars Obvious?
A traditional collar designed for use by a submissive is something that usually stands out. A leather collar with silver fixtures or an all metal collar. While these collars are obvious, there is no requirement that a collar for BDSM be that obvious. A traditional choker or a string of lace isn't an obvious collar.
Collaring in BDSM is a term that has been around for a while but one that is just starting to make its way into the public view. As societies around the world have moved more towards being sex positive cultures, we have become more accepting of kink and activities that are not the norm. This move has encouraged more people to wear their collars out and for more BDSM stories to make it out there.