The Dom/Sub Relationship
BDSM is a wonderful world where there are plenty of things to try and explore. It is also one that is alluring to many people. Each person explores that world in their own way but for each one, they also start by learning. Educating yourself before starting a dom/sub relationship is important.
Let's take a look at some of the things that you should know about a dom/sub relationship.
People Can Still Love Each Other
There is a misconception that a lot of dom/sub relationships are simply about the sexual experience. While some are like that, there are just as many dom/sub relationships that are also based on love. In fact, many "vanilla" relationships also have an aspect of dominance and submission. Someone tends to take on the role of the dominant in bed, even if it is unspoken.
Both Parties Have Power
In almost all cases, both parties in the dom/sub relationship have power. The dominant one has the ability to tell the submissive what to do, but only within the submissive limits. Before a scene or and domination starts, both parties will also often discuss what they are expecting to get out of it. Furthermore, during BDSM aftercare, both parties input matters equally.
A dom/sub relationship is often referred to as an exchange of power for this reason.
From the outside a lot of people think that a dominant is given free reign over their submissive. They are, but only to an extent. Before a dom/sub relationship starts, the two cover their limits. Limits are simply what you don't want to be a part of. Oftentimes this comes in the form of soft limits, which can be pushed, and hard limits, that are set in stone.
Not Every Moment Is Spent In Dom/Sub Mode
In many dom/sub relationships, the dominant/submissive play ends when the scene ends. Or when they exit the bedroom. Most of life is spent agreeing to what they want to do. They are regular people too, just like you. However, they may show signs of their dominance or submission even when not in role.
There are exceptions to this but they need to be discussed beforehand so that both parties understand what the limits are.
People's Roles Might Surprise You
Oftentimes it works out so that the people who enjoy being dominant are not the ones that you would expect. Sometimes timid people like the ability to be dominant in bed. Reversing that, some of the most normally dominant people like to let go of the control and become submissive in bed. It is typically pretty hard to stereotype a dominant or submissive person.
There Are Many Different Forms Of BDSM and Dom/Sub Relationships
Dom/sub relationships come in a variety of forms. Just a few examples are daddy/daughter(and variations thereof), Master/slave, Teacher/student, etc. These are obviously roleplayed roles but the relationships that they take on shape the overall dom/sub relationship and what transpires from it.
Just like there are many different types of dom/sub relationships, there are many different aspects that make up BDSM. Not every aspect of BDSM will be worked into someone's preferences. It is completely possible to have two people who are into BDSM but don't share any common interests in the BDSM world. Not all likes and not all dom/subs are compatible.
Dom/Sub Relationships Don't Stem From Psychological Issues
One of the first things that people tend to assert is that those who like dom/sub roles by nature have some sort of psychological issues. This is far from the truth. Dom/sub relationships are very natural and the average dom/sub has no more psychological issues than anyone else. That being said, there are always people in any portion of the population that will have psychological issues.
So might you find someone in the BDSM world who has psychological issues? Yes. Is it everyone or most people? No.
BDSM is a great world and you have already started to learn more about it by reading this article. Make sure to take a look at some of our other articles so you can learn even more about a wonderfully exciting lifestyle.