How To Be A Submissive?
In BDSM there are typically two roles, the dominant and the submissive. During different types of BDSM scenes, these roles may take on other names such as Master/slave. No matter what name the two roles take on, the responsibilities are similar and learning to become a submissive in any form starts in the same way.
Giving Up Power
The number one thing to learn is that the submissive gives up the illusion of having power. They are agreeing to do as the dominant person instructs during the scene. For a lot of people this can be hard, for others, they have been looking for a way to give up power during sex.
While you are playing the role of a submissive, you should not do anything unless you are told to. Half of the fun is for the dominant to give you instructions. This might be hard, but it is essential. If you start to do things for your own, you are moving out of the role of submissive.
You Shouldn't Do Anything Until You Are Told
Being a submissive means that you are the second one to get satisfied. The dominant should always be the first person to be satisfied. Often times, a dominant will punish their submissive if they orgasm before them, or without permission. Just like you shouldn't do anything until you are told, you should seek permission to do things such as orgasm.
The idea of being the second one to get pleased can take some getting used to. Patience is a virtue that needs to be learned by a submissive. By putting off their pleasure, the submissive is heightening the experience for both parties and ensuring that they can last the whole time.
Titles are often something that play a role in a submissive world. Words for submissive vary greatly but some of the most common are: slave, sub, toy, doll, or pet. A dominant may be called: Master, Sir, Owner, Dom, Domme, or something similar. The important part to remember is to properly address your dominant partner at all times.
Dominants have different rules about address, so make sure you ask them before you start what their rules are. If you happen to be writing or typing your titles, the dominant's title should always by capitalized, as should their name. The submissive's name and title on the other hand should always be lowercase. This is a sign of submission.
Make sure to set limits before you engage in a BDSM scene. This will help you to best learn how to be a submissive. You want to set limits that allow you to try the light parts of being a submissive first. It also prevents you from pushing yourself too far on your first time.
One of the unique parts of being a submissive is that you don't have any power, but at the same time, you have all the power. You are able to say no, you are able to do as you are told. You hold the cards. The only thing is that the dominant must lead you to the cards.
Submissive Still Has The Ability To Say No
An important thing to keep in mind is that it is impossible for a submissive person to give up all control. No matter what the dominant person says, a submissive still has the ability to say no at any time. Part of the fun of BDSM is that you are agreeing to give up control. But once you are no longer agreeing, the fun ceases to be BDSM.
Keep these things in mind when learning to become a submissive. Learning to give up power sounds far harder than it is. Many people from around the world, from all walks of life, enjoy the role of the submissive. Why not try taking on the role?