BDSM Social Etiquette Mistakes Men Should Watch Out For
BDSM is a large world with a variety of different activities that fit into it. No matter what you are interested in you will find yourself talking with others about BDSM. When it comes to talking about BDSM, there is a social etiquette that you should adhere to.
Today we are going to take a look at the social etiquette mistakes that men should avoid.
Talking About Sex Too Soon
One of the biggest mistakes in social etiquette that men make when engaging in BDSM chat is talking about sex too soon. Sex is a fun activity and a lot of BDSM scenes include sex, but if you talk about sex right off the bat, you will likely push someone away.
Proper etiquette is to get to know the person at least a little before talking about sex. This is because you can have a much more enjoyable time if you share at least one thing in common.
Talking about sex, or even BDSM activities right off the bat can be seen as a red flag.
Make sure to use a greeting when first talking to someone about BDSM. This is true whether you have met before or not. It is also true whether you are on chat or in person.
Focusing on Only One Thing
Focusing on only one thing is a big social no-no. BDSM involves being open minded and open to trying new things. There are likely many different things out there that you have never heard of. You never know what you are missing if you spend all your time focusing on one thing.
If you are focused on one thing, especially if it is a thing that you want, others are going to assume that you aren't interested in what they are looking for. This is something that will make any relationship hard.
Don't get us wrong, it is okay to have activities that excite you, just do not focus on only those. Ask your partner what they like and bring up multiple ideas. This will help you to contribute to the scene and the relationship as a whole.
Avoiding Discussion Before a Scene
It isn't uncommon to want to jump right into the fun. No one can blame you for that. How you convey that though can make a difference. A big part of BDSM is communication, and if you show that you aren't interested in the communication people will be wary of you.
Communication ensures that everyone has fun. It does more than that though. Communication helps to ensure that everyone is safe and there is consent. Key parts of BDSM.
Partners in BDSM, especially men, tend to want to skip over the risk and safety discussions. This is a big part of BDSM. One of the things that you need to keep in mind and discuss is risk awareness. No matter what you do, most kinks have some level of risk and everyone involved needs to be aware of that.
Be Honest
Honesty is important in any relationship but in one where you need to be able to trust each other with safety, it is even more important. It is expected that you be honest with those that you chat with.
Honesty is different from telling them exactly who you are and giving out extremely personal details. Honesty comes down to telling them what you are looking for, what your experience is, and the like. Don't try to come off as someone that you are not.
One of the biggest things that people expect is that if you are new to the BDSM lifestyle that you do not try to lie and say that you are experienced. This isn't an uncommon tactic. The problem with saying you are more experienced than you are is that you will likely have questions that will show your partner that you aren't experienced. Some members of the community are not interested in answering questions and playing with those who are new. At the same time there are plenty of people who are.
Respect is Crucial
Respect is essential for any relationship. It is the same when it comes to BDSM. Respect means that you treat the other person how you want to be treated and that you follow the etiquette. You also pay attention to what those you talk with are saying and their feelings.
Even inside a scene it is important that both the dominant and submissive show respect to each other as humans. Outside of the scene you show each other respect just like if you were on a date or interacting with friends.
A lot of men (and dominants in general tend to think that they should be aggressive and commanding, even outside of the scene. This is a big breach of etiquette and can have negative consequences on both futures scenes and the relationship in general.
Follow Normal Social Etiquette
Following normal social etiquette is important for any kind of BDSM dating online. Especially if your hope is to continue talking to the person.
Normal etiquette means that you would treat the person like you would want to be treated. Outside of scenes, unless you specifically agree to it, the relationship does not include domination or submission.
Make sure to say please and thank you when talking to the person on the BDSM sites, and to let them know when you have to step away. Also do not talk about topics that you wouldn't bring up in conversation with someone when face to face with them.
The BDSM lifestyle can be found just about anywhere in the world. No two people will like the same things though. This is important to keep in mind when considering proper etiquette for BDSM social. You should make sure to adjust your etiquette standards to match the culture that you are interacting with.