A Step By Step Guideline for Learning About BDSM
BDSM is a catchall term for a wide variety of sexual acts, mainly Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadochism and Masochism. With that collection of terms you can probably see that quite a lot fits there. Because so many items fit into the category of BDSM it may be overwhelming at first to try and learn about.
Today we are going to help you start on your path when it comes to learning about BDSM. We have created this quick guide to make sure you go to the right places to start learning.
Trusted Sources
One of the first things that you have to do when starting to learn is verify all of the sources that you are learning from. You will find a lot of misinformation out there in addition to a lot of unsafe information. For example, 50 Shades of Gray is a complete fabrication about what BDSM is like and is more like abuse.
Stick to websites that focus on BDSM and kink as opposed to reading one off articles around the internet. Especially when it comes to how-tos and specific topics.
Start With Learning About Safety
Safety is the backbone to BDSM. Safety and trust. Before learning about any techniques or specifics you should learn about all of the safety aspects that go into BDSM. From safewords to activities that should be avoided, there is a lot to learn about.
Once you start learning about techniques, the sources that you turn to should also talk about safety aspects of the activities. Most of the time if safety concerns aren't brought up you should be cautious about the source. BDSM practitioners take safety seriously and sometimes will go overboard when talking about it.
Learn About the Roles
Typically there are two roles in BDSM, the dominant and the submissive. In most general principles the Dominant is the person who controls a situation and the submissive is the one who is controlled. However, there are also people who like to switch between roles.
To further complicate the situation, the two roles take on different names depending on the scenes/activities that you are engaging in. Learning these can be key if you are interested in any of the situations where this will happen.
Spending time learning about these roles will also help you to see that they aren't as clear cut as the general principles we laid out earlier. For example, in many situations a submissive will end up with quite a lot of power. They may even lead the scene. No matter what all roles have power though as anyone involved can always say stop or slow down.
Try To Determine What You Are Interested In
Trying to determine what you are interested in can be quite helpful. By this we don't mean that you have to know everything that you like, you just have to start reading about some of the different kinks and activities out there and select some that you might want to try. Having some of these in mind will help you to better match with someone.
Most dating sites for kink/BDSM dating will have a list of kinks and activities. Take a look at one of these for a very detailed list of the different things out there. Keep in mind though that these lists can't be complete. There are plenty of activities that aren't on the list.
Go Slow
You have your whole life to explore the world of BDSM, there is no need to rush straight into it. In fact, it is easy to get overwhelmed if you take on too much at one time. Take your time when learning about new things and trying things out.
Start small and gradually go bigger and bigger. This will also give you something to look forward to next time you have a BDSM scene.
Going slow also makes learning to communicate about BDSM much easier. Communication is key and is easy to skip if you don't learn how to communicate quickly and learn how to communicate non-verbally with your partner. You will be able to pick up on the subtle hints much easier if you aren't distracted by trying too much at once.
Find An Experienced Practitioner
If you can, find a person who is experienced in BDSM to guide you through the process. Their experience will help to give you all of the information that you need to continue going forward.
It is best practice to let the person know that you are hoping they will help you learn about BDSM. Some people aren't interested in working with those who are new to the lifestyle. At the same time, those people are rare. Most of the BDSM community is very welcoming and enjoys working with those who are new.
Know Where To Find a Partner
You will find that there are many places that come to mind when it comes to looking for a date. Are all of those places appropriate for finding a partner for BDSM fun? No. Not everyone is into BDSM nor is every BDSM practitioner into the same thing.
Where is the best place to find a partner for BDSM? BDSM sites that are specifically built for kink and BDSM are the best place to turn to find a partner. They make filtering out people very easy. BDSM and kink communities are also a great place to look.
You can find BDSM partners in other places but you will have to try and figure out who is interested in BDSM and if they are a match for you. This can get quite frustrating and can also annoy some people you might come across.
Again the world of BDSM is huge. You will find people all around the world who are interested in many of its various aspects. Make sure that you approach learning about BDSM the right way though. It will not only make the experience safer, but far more enjoyable.