How to Meet a Girl That is into BDSM
Finding a girl for a vanilla relationship is difficult enough for many people, so trying to find a girl that is into BDSM can feel like a hopeless pursuit. Those that have just started dating someone or are in a long-term relationship may find it unfulfilling because their sex life is standard vanilla flare, lacking the excitement and satisfaction gained from your favourite kinks and fetishes.
However, the good news is that there are a lot of girls out there into BDSM. In fact, there are more than most assume, with countless women from all walks of life dabbling in aspects of BDSM, from those that enjoy some mild bondage to full-blown kinksters.
The real challenge is finding these people! Thankfully, it is easy enough to find a girl that is interested in BDSM if you were to look. Check out our tips for how to meet a girl that is into BDSM below!
Be More Open with Your Kinks
It is worth nothing that you may not need to look far to find a kinky girl. Most people that are interested in BDSM will not loudly broadcast it, meaning you could already know someone or be dating a girl that is into BDSM!
The important thing to remember is to be open with your own kinks and fetishes. If you want to try BDSM with someone you are dating but are scared how they might react, just ask them! You would be shocked how many girls are into BDSM, or at least willing to explore it with you.
BDSM Dating Sites and Apps
If you are struggling to meet girls in person, then finding a girl that is also interested in BDSM may seem like a pipedream. The good news is that the internet has your back, with countless BDSM and kink dating sites available at the tip of your fingers.
These sites are filled with kinky girls into all kinds of BDSM activities, making it one of the best places to find someone with like-minded kinks. In fact, finding someone exclusively online for your BDSM fantasies may be preferable, as many like to keep their kinks low-key due to their personal or professional lives.
In any case, using the various BDSM dating sites is a good way to try and meet girls with similar interests. There are many sites available, so you try a few out to see what ones work best for your needs, with some sites being more suitable than others.
For instance, popular sites like Alt.com are packed with users, making it a good choice for finding a girl into BDSM. However, they often have a lot of time wasters and fake profiles, with these users attracted by the sheer popularity of the site rather than their passion for BDSM.
Sometimes you are better off with an emerging site such as BDSMDatingOnly.com. These have fewer users but the ones here are more active and less likely to be fake profiles. It does help to try out a few sites to see what you like!
Normal Dating Sites
There are many vanilla dating sites that can also help you find a kinky girl, although they may require more time and patience to navigate compared to dedicated BDSM dating sites. One of the biggest benefits of these normal dating sites is they generally have a high volume of users, making it easier to get matched with someone nearby your location.
You will need to make use of various filters, search features, and create an honest and detailed profile about your kinks to help find fellow kinksters. Dating sites like OKCupid are quite good for this, attracting a lot of people from the BDSM community as their features make it easier for them to find others with similar interests.
Apps like Tinder can also be a good option to try, as there is certainly no shortage of kinky girls using the popular dating app. Again, you need to state your kinky preferences on your profile so people know what to expect, while you also need to be able to broach the topic of BDSM during your initial chats.
This can be tricky for some, so just try to remain confident and don't take rejection too badly, as not everyone using Tinder is here for BDSM kinkiness!
Personal Ads
Before the internet, people that like BDSM had lots of hurdles when trying to meet other kinksters. One popular option was a personal ad, where you basically advertise your sexual preferences and desires, arranging hook-ups and meet ups with interested people that find your ad.
This was one of the best ways to meet a girl into BDSM back in the day, although people were often limited by their location - many would travel far and wide to meet people for BDSM fun!
Now, most personal ads have migrated online. They aren't quite a dating site, as they tend to be free to use and have very basic, but there are some dedicated BDSM personals that have many female users, any of which could be nearby to you!
These are certainly less populated than dating sites, although the users tend to be much more upfront about their BDSM desires, so you may find this a great place to look for a girl.
BDSM Events
Local BDSM communities host regular events throughout their area, so you might want to do some research and see if there are any events being held nearby you. These may require an invite depending on the type of event, although many are open to first timers, you may need to do some networking before you get into the kinky stuff though.
It is definitely worth doing if you are passionate about BDSM, as the best chance of finding a girl that is into BDSM is meeting them in person, and these events are packed with people that share the same passion of all things BDSM.
Make sure to be fully respectful when attending such events, as BDSM events often attract some less than appealing characters with unrealistic expectations, so you are expected to behave properly. You should do some homework on proper etiquette when attending a BDSM event for the first time!
Here's a quick overview of the different BDSM events:
Munches
This event is solely for networking and socialising, with nothing kinky happening here. They are usually help at restaurants, giving single BDSMers the chance to meet fellow singles in their local areas.
What is great about these is you can meet a girl and get to know her before you do anything, making it easier to find meaningful relationships with someone that has the same kinks and fetishes. You can also find out more about other local BDSM events, helping to broaden your options further.
Instruction Events
Instruction events see experienced members of the BDSM host what is basically a kinky seminar, giving all kinds of useful information about BDSM practices, proper etiquette, safety, and much more.
Like munches, there is no play involved here but you do get the chance to chat and socialise with other people, making it a good place to possibly find a girl there who is also into BDSM.
Play Parties and Club Events
These pre-planned events are where all kinds of BDSM play occurs in full display of onlookers. So, don't expect to get laid or be asked to take part in the various scenes on display, as these are all planned well in advance.
However, what you can expect to do is find lots of girls attending the event! This is good for anyone new to the world of BDSM, as they can meet people in a safe space without any fear of judgement.
As the events are all pre-planned you will likely need an invite to attend, which is why it helps to attend the other events mentioned above, as it lets you network in the local BDSM community, where you'll find out more about these play parties and club events.