BDSM Aftercare - What Is It?
BDSM is a very popular kink in the open minded environment of the modern world but a lot of people still have more to learn. They also still have questions. Today we are going to discuss the topic of aftercare? What is it? Keep reading to find out.
What Is It?
Aftercare is the time after a BDSM scene in which partners take the time to assess what just happened. You want to calm down from the scene and evaluate your emotional and physical needs. After you have evaluated your own needs, you want to share them with your partner. Also listen to your partners needs. One of the main purposes of aftercare is to help you reconnect with reality. This can be especially helpful if you were roleplaying during your scene.
However, aftercare is also a good time to find out what you can do better next time and to just relax.
It Is Necessary
Aftercare is extremely necessary in the BDSM world. It doesn't have to be a long, drawn out process but it does have to happen. In your day-to-day life, are you who you are during BDSM scenes? For most of us that would be no. During aftercare your system (brain) is resetting itself back to its default, day-to-day mode.
It will also help you to recover from the physical toll that BDSM might have had on your body. You might not have realized it but there are a wide variety of tolls that scenes can take on your body. For extreme BDSM scenes, it may be related to participating in an athletic event. The only reason that you didn't feel drained during the scene, would be that you had endorphins and adrenaline running through your system. Not to mention the fact that you were turned on.
A lot of people are nervous at first to discuss a scene after it has happened but it is essential for your emotional well-being, and that of your partner.
Physical Aftercare
There is also physical aftercare that is needed when you are done with a BDSM scene. Almost all types of BDSM require toys/equipment. You will need to clean these toys and put them away. Paraphernalia such as dildos, anal plugs, strap ons all need cleaning after use. Without proper cleaning these toys can develop bacteria and it can make cleaning difficult, or impossible, after a period of time.
After a BDSM scene you might also want to take the time to get dressed and grab something to eat. You might not realize at first that you are cold but chances are that you will be (unless it is the middle of summer). The food will help you to restore the energy that you might have used.
You might feel that you will be okay without aftercare but everyone performs some type of aftercare. Whether it just be cleaning up and thinking about the scene in your head, or a long drawn out discussion with your partner. However, everyone should attempt to take the time to discuss scenes with their partner. You might find out how to make the situation more enjoyable for both of you in the future. Discovering if there were turnoffs or unliked portions of the scene is also important.
It Is Important for The Beginners
Aftercare is often most important for those who are new to the BDSM world and new to performing BDSM with their partner. Being with a partner for a while and performing BDSM with them for a while, will help you to become more in sync with them. Once you are in sync you will be able to detect what they like and what they don't like.
Discussing your plans for aftercare before a scene starts can help to ensure that it gets done afterwards. You and your partner should decide what kind of aftercare you are expecting and be on the same page. Make sure to be open and layout your expectations.
With everything you have read here you should take away that aftercare is necessary in some form to all those who participate in BDSM. At the same time, aftercare can take different forms for everyone. Use aftercare as a kind of transition time from the BDSM world to your normal world.