The Right Way To Explore Fetish Sex For The First Time
Fetish sex is quite fun in BDSM, it can involve just about any activity that you are interested in. If you are looking to explore fetish sex for the first time it can be overwhelming. You may be wondering how exactly to get started. Don't worry, we are going to help you along the process.
Use a Fetish Site
The best place to find a partner for fetish play is fetish sites. There are many of them out there. Some of the fetish sites are specifically for BDSM dating, while others are whole communities.
Before choosing a fetish dating site you can look at reviews from past users on sites like Google or dating review sites. Doing this will help to establish whether the sites are trustworthy and how likely it is to find a match. They will also let you know what features the sites have.
There are a number of other places you can look to find fetish sex, such as in your current relationship, at a bar, or using a regular dating site. All of these come with the downside of having to filter through people to try and find someone interested in fetish sex in the first place. You will spend far more time looking for a partner. Not to mention, you might not find someone who is open to teaching you about fetish sex.
Do A Little Reading
Read a little about the fetishes that interest you. This will give you some base knowledge to start your BDSM relationship with. Using this knowledge you will have an understanding about communicating with potential partners but also know what to expect. This article is just a start to this part.
Be Upfront About Being New
Being new in the world of BDSM is not bad, it is something that you have to mention though when you are looking for a partner. Not everyone has the desire or experience to work with someone new. Being upfront helps to ensure that everyone gets the best possible experience.
You don't have to go off on anything long or special. When the time feels right, and near the beginning of talking, just mention that you are new and you hope that you can learn.
Go Slow
Jumping straight into fetish sex can be quite overwhelming, even if you think you are ready. Try to take time and explore your interests slowly. If you don't go slow and get overwhelmed you might end up being turned off fetish sex just because of one experience.
When you mention to your partner that you are new to fetish sex they should know to take it slow with you. This is why you should always select partners carefully. You want to find someone who will help guide you on the way, not overwhelm you.
Find Someone With Similar Fetishes
You don't have to find someone who shares all of the same fetishes with you but it helps if you are at least some of them. Using a traditional dating site or meeting people in person may make this difficult. Most kink/fetish based dating sites have filters so you can find people who share common interests.
While you should share some of the same kinks, it never hurts to find someone who has ones that you have never tried. Part of the fun of fetish sex in the first place is being able to try new kinks and enjoy yourself.
Use A Safeword
Safewords are essential whenever you are exploring kink and fetish. Those who engage in vanilla sex would even benefit from incorporating safewords. As a person new to fetish sex it is crucial that you set your safewords so that you have an option to stop if a scene gets too much for you.
A safeword is a word or phrase that means to stop the scene. It is the same as saying stop and your partner will respect it the same. The main difference is that a safeword is something that would not come up regularly in a scene so that your partner is left with no question that you are saying stop and mean it.
You can opt to have a second safeword that means to slow down. A lot of experienced people use these safewords to make the experience last without having to stop it when they just want to slow down. More new people should embrace having a phrase to slow down so that they can control their experience.
Be Safe
Fetish sex can include a lot of different activities that require some level of trust. That means that you need to practice proper safety. We will spend a fair amount of time on safety because it is a big part of exploring the right way. In fact, if you don't keep safety in mind, many potential partners will be wary.
Make sure to carefully select your partner and start with less risky fetish activities to develop a level of trust.
Another key thing when meeting people online for fetish sex is selecting the right place to meet. You should always meet in public the first time. Choosing somewhere that has people present is a good choice such as a cafe. It doesn't have to be like a date, you are just meeting there. This public meeting gives you the chance to leave if the person isn't who they say they were or makes you feel uncomfortable.
One last note on safety is that you should always be careful with your information. When speaking with potential fetish sex partners online, control what information you give out. Do not give out anything like your address before you meet a potential partner in person. If something is wrong with someone on one of the dating sites you try, report them and block them so others are safe too.
The world of BDSM is huge and there are many people out there who are looking to explore it with you. Now that you know how to start it the right way you can start looking for your next partner.